Standing Up

25 November marks the official day Daddy sees you balancing on your two small feet. Your feet are not small for a baby's standards by the way.

26 November marks another milestone: Daddy sees you squat, picks up a ball and then stands up without any support. Wow. And then plonks down on your butt again.

It may seem insignificant but it means a lot to me. 

There are so many moments that mattered so much to us but we inevitably missed it for some reason or another. At times we were "there" but a quick shift of an eye and we missed it for the first time forever. Daddy is so glad to be able to witness your squat.

Maybe in future we can go gym together and perform those weighted squats. 

In the meantime, keep trying hard to stand up. Daddy looks forward to seeing my dearest son walk and calling us Papa Mama clearly. We are happy with the "Baba" and "Mam Mam" now though.

Daddy promise to be there to witness your every achievement in future whenever possible, coz I don't wanna miss a thang~~~

Love,

Daddy

Affinity in Our Lives

Dear Son,

It has been a (long) while since Daddy written something for you. I probably have to do a lot of back tracking posts. 

Today Daddy would like to share with you this picture that Mommy 99% does not know exist:

This is a shot taken from the back seat of a trishaw which Daddy rode in the Tibetan evening in 2006. The intriguing part of the picture is not the absence of the man's face, but rather his back and bit of his side view. Strange?

To me, this monotone picture portraits how Daddy conceptualize the err... concept of affinity: Intangible "strings" that ties, binds and cross the "strings" of other individuals.

You see, millions, or in fact, billions of people exist on this tiny speck of sand in this immeasurably vast universe. However only a selected few of them will have relationships of varying levels with you. From blood connections like Mommy, Grand-dads, Grand-mas, Uncles, Aunties, Cousins, and myself, to Hi-Bye-See-You-In-Our-Next-Life acquaintance to the cabby uncle whom fetched you home once fine day, these people have a certain level of affinity with you. 

Till today, Daddy still ask myself occasionally. 

"Who is this man anyway? What is his name? How many kids does he have? How old is he? Has he ever traveled out of Tibet in his life time? What was his growing up years like? What made him become a trishaw puller? Where did he come from just before picking me up? Is he still alive today?"

You see, Daddy traveled a thousand miles (probably) to Tibet for hiking. Just at the right place and at the right moment, this man crossed my path and fetched me to where I wanted to go. At that specific point in time, our lives or "strings" crossed and went parallel for as long I stayed on his vehicle and our "strings" parted when I alighted. 

Isn't it intriguing to question how many years of our individual lives have to pass by before we met for that short 10 minutes and we may never ever bump into each other again in this physical life time. 

Have you asked yourself hypothetically, what if I have had a slight change of plan, like to visit the toilet instead of going straight out to the road? I would have very likely missed the chance to ride his trishaw, much less take this picture. Our lives and paths would never cross each other's. 

So perhaps you might start to understand that even those people who seem extremely insignificant, have a certain affinity with you. In that moment, you and them share the same path, whether you share vision or values is another question. In other words, even people that you detest, or are out to do no good, are there for a reason. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. 

Out of the billions of people walking on this Earth, you, Mommy and I are bonded by blood. That is our affinity. In retrospect, should Daddy's previous girlfriend chose not to end our relationship, I would not have the chance to meet someone nice like Mommy. Had we not met, there will be absolutely no chance of you reading these articles.  

Intriguingly, Grand-dad only had the chance to be with Granny because his previous girlfriend apparently refused to have kids should they happen to get married. Can you imagine where YOU and I would be, should Grand-dad accepted her proposition? Mommy would still be around somewhere, probably married to another richer guy heh! 

The point is, things happen for a reason. Affinity is the product of the cause-and-effect of our lives. The decisions we choose to make today or now, will in turn affect the outcomes of our future and your future. 

No doubt, there will be plenty of people who will come and go in your life. Some leaving an impression more than the others, be it a good or bad way. Whatever it is, always do good. Be nice to people. You will never know that the kind soul whom bothered to bring home your memory-losing Daddy home in 40 years one day, may be someone you have helped along the way before earlier on.

Looking back, it is a complicated emotion for Mommy and I. Can you imagine where you would be today should your elder brother chose to continue his infancy in Mommy's tummy? It is a sad shame we didn't get a chance to know him. The right to live is hard to come by so we chose to think that he sacrificed himself bravely for some reason we have yet to comprehend, so that we can have a chance to be with you.

We are delighted to be with you without any shadow of a doubt. We can only pray that he is in a better place now. Mommy and Daddy are very grateful yet sad for his decision to leave. However whatever has passed, has passed. His affinity with us was over and right now we only have one thing in mind: 

Treasure our affinity and treasure our love and time for you. One day, even the blood-connected relationships will have to part "strings".

Love,

Daddy

ps. By the way, assuming you are going to get married in future, have you thought of where your future wife is right now? Daddy still wonders with Mommy where our future in-laws are. Have they even gotten married themselves yet? Oh ok. Never mind. ^ ^

2 Weeks In

9 January 2014

Dear Son,

Time flies by and it’s already been 2 weeks since we first heard you cry. I have to admit that it’s been totally unreal at times. There are moments when Daddy wakes up forgetting that I actually have a son next door, or somewhere in the house.

In all honesty you have been doing fine so far. Apart from the occasional unexplainable crankiness, Mommy and I have been able to put you under control after some trial and error. We have been glad to have chosen attending some of the pre-natal classes. It certainly helped us in a great deal. We never knew that swaddling you real tight can actually help in calming you down to some extent. It is befuddling because as adults, we feel extremely irritated to be in that kind of situation but being a baby like you, I guess nature works in strange ways.

Daddy isn’t well known for being the most patient person. However somehow Daddy have a lot of room for you. Perhaps it’s in our blood that is connected to each other. Speaking of which, Mommy and I were both extremely surprised that you have a different blood type from ours. Both of us had A+ but apparently you have O+? Seriously? Anyway apparently the odds of you inheriting an O+ blood type are 25% so it’s not exactly a rare thing.

We start to notice that your features are slowly but surely changing to look increasingly like me. We even start to doubt that your lips are mine too. Whatever it is, it doesn’t change the fact that you are our son. Mommy and I love to smell you all over. Its weird I know but you will get used to it!

Daddy loves to cuddle you to sleep especially when you are cranky. We try not to do that too often in fear that you will get too used to it and fail to sleep on your own. I think you probably like to hear Daddy’s heartbeat and of course, singing. Daddy loves to sing you Jay Chou’s songs and whatever I can think of. Whatever the case is, as long as it stops you from screaming your throat off, and sends you to sleep, it doesn’t matter if Daddy sings well or not.

Most people think that love songs only makes sense if it is sang to their lovers but Daddy disagreed. On the contrary, most of these lovey dovey songs also make sense when it is sung to my own child.

We love you so much son.

Mommy & Daddy

Day 7

02 Jan 2014

Dear Son,

You are 7 days old today. 8 days in fact if we include the day that you were born. So far you have been the angel baby that Mommy and Daddy have been yearning for. Granny has been helping out with us taking care of you.

It is amazing to see you growing up despite just 7 days. In this week alone, we have witnessed very comforting phenomenon from you.

1.   You have tears! Usually newborns will not have tears till probably 3 months later? In case you didn’t know, there is a way to determine whether a cry is fake or real by means of the presence of tears. So ok, whenever you tear, we know you are not kidding!

2.   You start to extend out your limbs! When you were in Mommy’s tummy, I am certain that you are constantly in a fetal position: hugging yourself really tight in a claustrophobic and dark space. It is little wonder you enjoy being swaddled really tight and your limbs stuck by your little body. It was difficult to reach out and clean those crevices between your thighs and arms. You may end up smelling like Daddy if you don’t open them up soon! But you did.

3.      Mommy kind of found out that you tend to fall asleep easier when she dumps you in a prone position on your belly. Somehow it works so please explain to us how ok? Daddy thinks that this position may not be the most comfy but if it shuts you up when you are cranky, we will do it. However the point is we see you starting to and the best thing: Pushing yourselves up and lifting your neck to rotate to the other side! Granny says that you will be pretty strong in future. Daddy agrees except that strong is an understatement: My son shall be legendary strong haha!

4.   My goodness, within 3 days of leaving the hospital, you have increased your milk intake by a whopping 100%. From 30ml to 60ml of milk was how much it took to put you to bed. At times even 60ml wasn’t enough. You sure have inherited Daddy’s appetite.

By the time you are able to read and comprehend Daddy’s articles, you may think that those points I’ve made are insignificant beyond redemption. However those small achievements made by our 192-hours old son mean the world to us. We cherish these small moments of you growing up bit by bit, cell by cell.

We love you so much and yes we do love to smell you too. It just runs in the family. Oh yes, have we told you we discovered you actually may have 2 dimples instead of one? Daddy sure hopes so!

Love, Daddy

The Origins Of Your Name

You are 2 days old today. You have been doing great so far! Mommy and Daddy are hoping that we are catching the correct signals sent out by you. The occasional readjustment of your swaddle can cause you to be edgier than usual. Our guess is that like Mommy, you are scared of the cold.

Daddy went to do up your birth certificate today as well. So might as well let you understand what your name Gabriel Ho Chen Xi (何晨熙) means.

Gabriel in Christian terms means “strength of God” or Daddy’s favorite: “hero of God”. Alongside Michael, Gabriel is one of the 2 angels whom are better known in the scriptures. Mommy initially wanted to name you Dwayne, but decided to drop the idea after realizing Dwayne meant the “dark one”. Daddy felt it was really cool but negative means negative from Mommy. And so, Gabriel was decided by Mommy and that was it.

Now deciding on your Christian name wasn’t too difficult. Daddy had the challenge to come up with Chinese names that not only have to sound nice but also have a meaning to it.

The initial proposal was 何以则. Sounds pretty good, seemingly easy to write and most importantly it has a nice meaning to it: 以身作则. We would like you to be a good living example to people around you. However Mommy had concerns about the 2 “knives” in the “则”  so decided to drop the idea.

Mommy personally liked words pronounced “Xi1” so Daddy had to churn around the web to look for good combinations for your name. It wasn’t that difficult to find the “Xi” words. Some shortlisted characters are: 熙, 希, 曦. Daddy personally liked熙 the most. Being a keen historian, the Qing Dynasty Emperor 康熙 was the longest ruling monarch in Chinese history. His reign was well-known for a prosperous era of peace and vitality.  The meaning of熙 as a word by itself meant “兴起rise” and “兴盛flourish”. Daddy felt that it is a very positive and energized word and both of us loved it. The challenge was coming up with the second character. The combinations are infinite but Daddy narrowed down to 2: 晨 and政.

晨 simply meant sunrise and 政 meant politics. Daddy felt that both these words compliment the chosen 熙. With the Emperor Kangxi as an example, 政熙 sounds nice and proper together. A combination of a rise and flourishing political environment sounds decent. On the other hand,  晨熙 pointed to a flourishing sunrise: another scenic and positive name.

Mommy and Daddy initially decided that these were suitable and wanted you to opt for your own name. If you were born in the first half of the day, you shall be named晨熙, and if you decide to arrive in the later half of the day, 政熙 shall be your name.

Intriguingly along the way, we found out that one of Daddy’s cousins’ kids have the same 政 in their names. So there goes政熙 for you because Daddy wasn’t a great fan of that particular cousin. Let’s keep it a secret shall we?

And so you are finally and officially named Ho Chen Xi Gabriel (何晨熙). We know it’s not the easiest of words to write for a name but we hope that you will one day know the meaning behind your name. We pray that you will be the angel, not only of God, but also the bright and flourishing man that will give people light and hope. Daddy believes that light equates to hope and that this positive name of yours will let you be that shining light which people will look up upon for guidance and leadership, probably just like God wants you to be.

The Day You Were Born

Daddy and Mommy checked in Thomson Medical at around 5.30am today. Mommy didn’t get to sleep much that night. She was constantly thinking about the possibility of the pain after the surgery. You have to know that Mommy has a self-proclaimed zero tolerance for pain threshold.

This is Mommy’s final back shot with you in her tummy, and her lying down just before getting wheeled out for the operation prep. 

  

Poor Daddy had no idea where to wait except to take a nap in the waiting lounge for the next hour. Intriguingly, Daddy is an extremely calm person for a man who is expecting his first child. I have little idea why. I am excited but not seemingly overwhelmed.

Was it because you came to us at the right time, at the right place and with the right mental maturity? Or was it Daddy was confident that God will take care of everything whole-heartedly? I am certain that I am not couldn’t-be-bothered. No matter what the real reason was, I want you to know that you meant a whole world to us. And so here we go!

Mommy had to be cut at the tummy because you didn’t want to turn into the correct position. You are probably that same kind of enigma like Daddy: We like to do things our way occasionally. That said, it didn’t mean we hated you for it. Instead we are glad that you have made a choice for Mommy. Both natural birth and caesarean has their pros and cons. You chose for Mommy to take the quickest route out which probably saved her plenty of hours of agony. It was quick. Real. Quick.

Daddy only had to wait less than 5 minutes after walking past Mommy’s cut up tummy. Mommy had little sensation from chest down but I have to still try to distract her from the possible distress while peeking at what’s going with you and Dr Tham. This is the gynae that delivered you! He is called Benjamin too! 

First the legs, then the flailing arms, and finally your very first cry as the air gets into your lungs.

And there you were: Gabriel Ho Chen Xi.

At first look, you have Mommy’s luscious lips and that undeniable dimple on your left cheek. It wasn’t obvious and sharp yet but it’s definitely a good inheritance from her. We are still undecided on whose nose you took after though. Eyes-wise, we are betting on you looking like Daddy. The long slits probably indicated big eyes like mine and lastly that little mop of hair takes after me as well.

Daddy had this crazy idea of marking you with a pen, just in case you were mixed up with other babies born around the same time. But after seeing you, that nonsensical idea was shelved. You totally look like us. You are US! I forgot about the pen anyway.

Born exactly 0802 hours, you weighed in at 3.235kg with a head circumference of 34cm and the height of 49cm. Daddy is pretty sure you are taller than that! Mommy was constantly worried that you may be a small baby but hey! 3.2kg isn’t too shabby. In fact I think you’ve got Daddy’s physical genes: Pretty muscular to start with!

Daddy and Mommy are so glad that you arrived safe and sound. Everyone who visited you gave you their prayers in hope that you will grow up healthy and sound. We love you a lot and that we promise to make sure that you will be brought up well. Daddy will continue to write about you but before that let’s have a family shot together shall we?

Our first comfortable family picture together. I mentioned “comfortable” because the first picture we took together in the operating theatre, Daddy looked like a prick -.-

 Oh yes one last thought about Daddy’s legendary calmness: Was it the natural counter effect of Mommy’s anxiety? The more she uptight she gets, the more I become. Imagine BOTH of us are anxious. Someone’s have to stay chill and cool to run the show you know ;)

Some other pictures of you with the rest of the family:

Turn Baby Turn

Dear Gabby,

Yes, so the vomiting never ceased despite being in the second or third trimester. I'm getting used to it but to make matter worst, mummy got gestational diabetics because of this pregnancy and I had to limit my food intake so as not to cause any harm to you. But baby, mummy has not been eating well in the first place and now with this, it makes matters worst. I was so upset that why others have such an easy route during their pregnancy but I have to endure rounds of bleeding and puking...

Nearing your EDD, Dr Tham told mummy you were a breech baby. You just refused to turn around. Mummy cannot go for a natural birth. I'm very afraid of pain and I have to go under the knives. Mummy was a little angry with you initially but I know if that's how God wants you to be out or rather, if that's the best way you want to be out, we will do it that way. You were scheduled to be out on 26th December 2013. Another spot on by grandaunt as she prayed about it. =) A xmas baby! Gabriel - an angel, a strong man of God! You shall be one! And to end it off, mummy is tested for Strap B positive too... =(  I had to be on antibiotics so as not to pass the germs to you...

*Frankly son, you have got to be on Daddy's side whenever we talk about Mommy's health issues. Mommy never had the strongest of physique and has various syndromes like IBS etc.. In all brutal honesty, Daddy wasn't totally surprised that Mommy had to go through these minor complications. Even though Daddy didn't want her to experience these unnecessary syndromes, mentally I was kind of prepared. 

Let's cooperate and make Mommy even more healthy ok ?*