Dear Son,
It has been a (long) while since Daddy written something for you. I probably have to do a lot of back tracking posts.
Today Daddy would like to share with you this picture that Mommy 99% does not know exist:
This is a shot taken from the back seat of a trishaw which Daddy rode in the Tibetan evening in 2006. The intriguing part of the picture is not the absence of the man's face, but rather his back and bit of his side view. Strange?
To me, this monotone picture portraits how Daddy conceptualize the err... concept of affinity: Intangible "strings" that ties, binds and cross the "strings" of other individuals.
You see, millions, or in fact, billions of people exist on this tiny speck of sand in this immeasurably vast universe. However only a selected few of them will have relationships of varying levels with you. From blood connections like Mommy, Grand-dads, Grand-mas, Uncles, Aunties, Cousins, and myself, to Hi-Bye-See-You-In-Our-Next-Life acquaintance to the cabby uncle whom fetched you home once fine day, these people have a certain level of affinity with you.
Till today, Daddy still ask myself occasionally.
"Who is this man anyway? What is his name? How many kids does he have? How old is he? Has he ever traveled out of Tibet in his life time? What was his growing up years like? What made him become a trishaw puller? Where did he come from just before picking me up? Is he still alive today?"
You see, Daddy traveled a thousand miles (probably) to Tibet for hiking. Just at the right place and at the right moment, this man crossed my path and fetched me to where I wanted to go. At that specific point in time, our lives or "strings" crossed and went parallel for as long I stayed on his vehicle and our "strings" parted when I alighted.
Isn't it intriguing to question how many years of our individual lives have to pass by before we met for that short 10 minutes and we may never ever bump into each other again in this physical life time.
Have you asked yourself hypothetically, what if I have had a slight change of plan, like to visit the toilet instead of going straight out to the road? I would have very likely missed the chance to ride his trishaw, much less take this picture. Our lives and paths would never cross each other's.
So perhaps you might start to understand that even those people who seem extremely insignificant, have a certain affinity with you. In that moment, you and them share the same path, whether you share vision or values is another question. In other words, even people that you detest, or are out to do no good, are there for a reason. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Out of the billions of people walking on this Earth, you, Mommy and I are bonded by blood. That is our affinity. In retrospect, should Daddy's previous girlfriend chose not to end our relationship, I would not have the chance to meet someone nice like Mommy. Had we not met, there will be absolutely no chance of you reading these articles.
Intriguingly, Grand-dad only had the chance to be with Granny because his previous girlfriend apparently refused to have kids should they happen to get married. Can you imagine where YOU and I would be, should Grand-dad accepted her proposition? Mommy would still be around somewhere, probably married to another richer guy heh!
The point is, things happen for a reason. Affinity is the product of the cause-and-effect of our lives. The decisions we choose to make today or now, will in turn affect the outcomes of our future and your future.
No doubt, there will be plenty of people who will come and go in your life. Some leaving an impression more than the others, be it a good or bad way. Whatever it is, always do good. Be nice to people. You will never know that the kind soul whom bothered to bring home your memory-losing Daddy home in 40 years one day, may be someone you have helped along the way before earlier on.
Looking back, it is a complicated emotion for Mommy and I. Can you imagine where you would be today should your elder brother chose to continue his infancy in Mommy's tummy? It is a sad shame we didn't get a chance to know him. The right to live is hard to come by so we chose to think that he sacrificed himself bravely for some reason we have yet to comprehend, so that we can have a chance to be with you.
We are delighted to be with you without any shadow of a doubt. We can only pray that he is in a better place now. Mommy and Daddy are very grateful yet sad for his decision to leave. However whatever has passed, has passed. His affinity with us was over and right now we only have one thing in mind:
Treasure our affinity and treasure our love and time for you. One day, even the blood-connected relationships will have to part "strings".
Love,
Daddy
ps. By the way, assuming you are going to get married in future, have you thought of where your future wife is right now? Daddy still wonders with Mommy where our future in-laws are. Have they even gotten married themselves yet? Oh ok. Never mind. ^ ^
