Facing Defeats

25 November 2013

Dear Son,

Daddy’s soccer team Arion WFA had just lost in the Challenge Cup last night. We lost to some kind of mashed up team that was conjured up last minute. Sponsored by H2O, you probably can guess their team name. Yeah, H2O Dream Team for crying out loud.

We played really badly in the first half. It was so bad that by the halfway mark, we were 3-0 down. The players virtually wrapped up the goals in glittering paper, bowed down to our opponents and begged them to accept it with a smile. It will take us nothing less than a miracle to recover from that deficit. The team galvanized themselves up and after some tactical changes, they went all out to overturn the messy situation. We did way better than the first half but could not break down a determined and disciplined opponent. Despite that fact that Daddy is a self-confessed sore loser, it was un-denying that Arion lost to a better team.

Some of the girls cried after the game. We still have one more game to go even though it was a little pointless determining who’s going to be third or fourth. Only winners will be remembered and stand in the light, while the rest gets hidden in the shadows. Daddy felt bad for everyone who played their hearts out despite the uncharacteristic drop in performance level. It could have been my fault as well. It was a fact that the team fare much better after the formation switch. What could have been if Daddy had made the decision to use that formation from the word go? Hypothetical questions can never be answered fully and history never condone the presence of hypothetical questions as well. Time cannot be reversed.

Despite the fact that the loss came hard on our faces, Daddy still holds the team in high regard. Arion has been slowly revitalized ever since Daddy took over the reins as coach. In comparison to the past seasons, Arion has been proving doubters wrong during my time. Along the way the team became a tough team to beat. Despite us stumbling occasionally to defeats, we have never laid down depressed for too long. Instead, everyone, or rather, most of the players came back stronger having learned a lesson in one way or another.

In retrospect, swallowing defeats is difficult but at times necessary for a person or a team to grow stronger. Only when we get hammered, we will learn to understand our limitations as well as weaknesses. Identifying these aspects allow us to strengthen and reinforce ourselves to be better prepared for similar challenges. Winning constantly teaches nothing comparing to accepting a defeat.

For Daddy, I am still learning despite being a coach. I’ve learn that different formations suit different pitch sizes. I probably had made the wrong decision to start the game with the diamond formation. I took part of the responsibility for the loss and will be better prepared the next time. In the long term, taking 1 step back after taking 3 steps forward is still good progress. We can only improve.

Arion article: http://voxsports.co/football/h2o-dream-team-prevail-over-arion-fa-to-enter-finals

Love Daddy

The Start Of The Merlion

Dear Gabby,

This is seriously not fun. Feeling nauseous day in and day out is terrible. This part of the pregnancy really puts mummy off but the thought that I'll see you in my arms after 10 months, mummy will endure! After all they said that morning sickness will stop once you hit 12 weeks! =)

We decided to wait till you were week 8 to see Dr Benjamin Tham. However at week 5, mummy accidentally drank some lemon grass and I start to spot. This was really a nightmare! Mummy lost a baby previously and spotting was the first sign. I thought I was going to lose you again! I drank so much water so that I can purge the lemon grass out of my system. I had to pray and get grand aunt to pray fervently! You were strong little buddy! You managed to pull through Gabby dear! And there you go...

You were estimated to be delivered on the 4th January. Mummy hoped for a 1st January baby so I can get all the goodies! Haha. You won't believe how bad I vomited on a daily basis. I can be sleeping in the middle of the night and will suddenly wake up to run to the loo. Everything that I ate will be purged out wholesale. As the weeks progressed, it was so bad that I can to be bed-ridden for a month. I've also taken note of the things that I can or cannot eat so that I can throw up less. I do not have any appetite but for your sake I had to eat and then puke again... The whole cycle continues... Mummy did lost some weight but you were gaining so that's most important. 

I don't know what's wrong with my body but suddenly I began to spot again. We had to make a trip to Dr Tham and mummy was given an injection to stablize you. Was told it was going to be at my bum and will be painful. I had to be really brave! Everyday, mummy and daddy was so worried about your well being. We cant wait to see you and your heartbeats. 

*I have to admit I almost went berserk when I heard about the detrimental effects of lemon grass during pregnancy. I was fuming inside not just with Mommy but also Granny who innocently concocted the drink. However Granny wasn't informed about your existence yet so there wasn't really anyone to be blamed. I can't help but curse under my breath why such ridiculous things keep occuring? Why can't things just be a little bit smoother and that we have less thing to worry about, especially after we lost your older sibling for some reason that we have no idea about.

On a hindsight, although I still think these anxieties can be avoided, I do feel that the experience made us treasure you a truckload more. Daddy always hope the days move faster and look forward to our next gynae session. Just to see your strong little heartbeat and wriggling motion. For expecting parents, there is nothing more important and err.. heartening than seeing your heart beating strong. Perhaps our previous loss left a psychological shadow in Daddy's heart and all Daddy wants to see is your heartbeat before anything else. *

Foreword

14 November 2014

Dear Son,

Throughout my growing up and growing old years, Daddy has a penchant for writing. Although Daddy has never been a brilliant author who can boast the ability to illustrate all things and situations clearly, I do attempt my best to pen down my thoughts. However keeping up consistently in a diary is a challenge for me. There was many a time whereby inspirations and well-thought-out ideas get shelved and eventually forgotten due to Daddy’s procrastination for some reason or another, which I struggle to fathom myself.

Your impending arrival into Daddy and Mommy’s lives will be akin to a Singapore sized meteor crashing onto Earth: Full of impact, fireworks and the possibility of driving us out of existence, but of course in a positive way. We are so looking forward to it.

Daddy hope that your presence in our lives can be a catalyst that drives us (at least for myself) to have the motivation to start writing, and keep on doing it for the sake of preserving some of the knowledge, wisdom, humor and other intriguing stuff that are constantly occurring while you grow old enough to be able to understand the contents of this article, for which I specially dedicate to you and your future siblings.

Daddy have no idea how you will handle or accept my/our way of teaching you in years to come, but I hope in the very least, while you avoid our kind intentions to guide/nag/scold (delete whichever applicable), you may still find some form of peace and assurances from the articles here, slowly pieced up from 2013. As time goes by, the number of articles will increase and Daddy will likely categorize the articles in which you may find whatever you want in double quick time.

Many of the articles Daddy will write may not always be politically correct. It means to say that while most people will agree fully on something, Daddy may be inclined to agree with them but analyzing from another set of reasons and perspective, Daddy may not be on their side wholeheartedly. My guess is that this will happen pretty frequently. Mommy will probably protest on a few things but a man like me wouldn’t be bothered too much unless it is proven that Daddy’s perspective is clearly skewed ha!

For some unknown reason, Daddy felt relieved that I finally lifted my fingers to begin this lifelong assignment for you. Business has been a tad slow recently and Daddy certainly has more time than I would like it to be. So apart from working out in the gym and waiting for Mommy to get released from school/nursery/prison, I thought let’s just get into gear right now, instead of the grand plan of starting this on Daddy’s birthday on the 27^th.

I hope and pray that you will grow up to be a fine young man under Daddy and Mommy’s care and tutelage. We both too, hope and pray that we can fulfill our parental duties and that you can be proud of us, just like how we will be proud of your achievements in future, however small it may be.

Other than the baby items that you receive from us upon your birth (seriously Gabby, do consider 31 Dec 2013 or 1 Jan 2014), this is Daddy’s most sincere present to you. I hope you will find peace, love and wisdom with us.

Love, Daddy Ben