The Origins Of Your Name

You are 2 days old today. You have been doing great so far! Mommy and Daddy are hoping that we are catching the correct signals sent out by you. The occasional readjustment of your swaddle can cause you to be edgier than usual. Our guess is that like Mommy, you are scared of the cold.

Daddy went to do up your birth certificate today as well. So might as well let you understand what your name Gabriel Ho Chen Xi (何晨熙) means.

Gabriel in Christian terms means “strength of God” or Daddy’s favorite: “hero of God”. Alongside Michael, Gabriel is one of the 2 angels whom are better known in the scriptures. Mommy initially wanted to name you Dwayne, but decided to drop the idea after realizing Dwayne meant the “dark one”. Daddy felt it was really cool but negative means negative from Mommy. And so, Gabriel was decided by Mommy and that was it.

Now deciding on your Christian name wasn’t too difficult. Daddy had the challenge to come up with Chinese names that not only have to sound nice but also have a meaning to it.

The initial proposal was 何以则. Sounds pretty good, seemingly easy to write and most importantly it has a nice meaning to it: 以身作则. We would like you to be a good living example to people around you. However Mommy had concerns about the 2 “knives” in the “则”  so decided to drop the idea.

Mommy personally liked words pronounced “Xi1” so Daddy had to churn around the web to look for good combinations for your name. It wasn’t that difficult to find the “Xi” words. Some shortlisted characters are: 熙, 希, 曦. Daddy personally liked熙 the most. Being a keen historian, the Qing Dynasty Emperor 康熙 was the longest ruling monarch in Chinese history. His reign was well-known for a prosperous era of peace and vitality.  The meaning of熙 as a word by itself meant “兴起rise” and “兴盛flourish”. Daddy felt that it is a very positive and energized word and both of us loved it. The challenge was coming up with the second character. The combinations are infinite but Daddy narrowed down to 2: 晨 and政.

晨 simply meant sunrise and 政 meant politics. Daddy felt that both these words compliment the chosen 熙. With the Emperor Kangxi as an example, 政熙 sounds nice and proper together. A combination of a rise and flourishing political environment sounds decent. On the other hand,  晨熙 pointed to a flourishing sunrise: another scenic and positive name.

Mommy and Daddy initially decided that these were suitable and wanted you to opt for your own name. If you were born in the first half of the day, you shall be named晨熙, and if you decide to arrive in the later half of the day, 政熙 shall be your name.

Intriguingly along the way, we found out that one of Daddy’s cousins’ kids have the same 政 in their names. So there goes政熙 for you because Daddy wasn’t a great fan of that particular cousin. Let’s keep it a secret shall we?

And so you are finally and officially named Ho Chen Xi Gabriel (何晨熙). We know it’s not the easiest of words to write for a name but we hope that you will one day know the meaning behind your name. We pray that you will be the angel, not only of God, but also the bright and flourishing man that will give people light and hope. Daddy believes that light equates to hope and that this positive name of yours will let you be that shining light which people will look up upon for guidance and leadership, probably just like God wants you to be.

The Day You Were Born

Daddy and Mommy checked in Thomson Medical at around 5.30am today. Mommy didn’t get to sleep much that night. She was constantly thinking about the possibility of the pain after the surgery. You have to know that Mommy has a self-proclaimed zero tolerance for pain threshold.

This is Mommy’s final back shot with you in her tummy, and her lying down just before getting wheeled out for the operation prep. 

  

Poor Daddy had no idea where to wait except to take a nap in the waiting lounge for the next hour. Intriguingly, Daddy is an extremely calm person for a man who is expecting his first child. I have little idea why. I am excited but not seemingly overwhelmed.

Was it because you came to us at the right time, at the right place and with the right mental maturity? Or was it Daddy was confident that God will take care of everything whole-heartedly? I am certain that I am not couldn’t-be-bothered. No matter what the real reason was, I want you to know that you meant a whole world to us. And so here we go!

Mommy had to be cut at the tummy because you didn’t want to turn into the correct position. You are probably that same kind of enigma like Daddy: We like to do things our way occasionally. That said, it didn’t mean we hated you for it. Instead we are glad that you have made a choice for Mommy. Both natural birth and caesarean has their pros and cons. You chose for Mommy to take the quickest route out which probably saved her plenty of hours of agony. It was quick. Real. Quick.

Daddy only had to wait less than 5 minutes after walking past Mommy’s cut up tummy. Mommy had little sensation from chest down but I have to still try to distract her from the possible distress while peeking at what’s going with you and Dr Tham. This is the gynae that delivered you! He is called Benjamin too! 

First the legs, then the flailing arms, and finally your very first cry as the air gets into your lungs.

And there you were: Gabriel Ho Chen Xi.

At first look, you have Mommy’s luscious lips and that undeniable dimple on your left cheek. It wasn’t obvious and sharp yet but it’s definitely a good inheritance from her. We are still undecided on whose nose you took after though. Eyes-wise, we are betting on you looking like Daddy. The long slits probably indicated big eyes like mine and lastly that little mop of hair takes after me as well.

Daddy had this crazy idea of marking you with a pen, just in case you were mixed up with other babies born around the same time. But after seeing you, that nonsensical idea was shelved. You totally look like us. You are US! I forgot about the pen anyway.

Born exactly 0802 hours, you weighed in at 3.235kg with a head circumference of 34cm and the height of 49cm. Daddy is pretty sure you are taller than that! Mommy was constantly worried that you may be a small baby but hey! 3.2kg isn’t too shabby. In fact I think you’ve got Daddy’s physical genes: Pretty muscular to start with!

Daddy and Mommy are so glad that you arrived safe and sound. Everyone who visited you gave you their prayers in hope that you will grow up healthy and sound. We love you a lot and that we promise to make sure that you will be brought up well. Daddy will continue to write about you but before that let’s have a family shot together shall we?

Our first comfortable family picture together. I mentioned “comfortable” because the first picture we took together in the operating theatre, Daddy looked like a prick -.-

 Oh yes one last thought about Daddy’s legendary calmness: Was it the natural counter effect of Mommy’s anxiety? The more she uptight she gets, the more I become. Imagine BOTH of us are anxious. Someone’s have to stay chill and cool to run the show you know ;)

Some other pictures of you with the rest of the family:

Turn Baby Turn

Dear Gabby,

Yes, so the vomiting never ceased despite being in the second or third trimester. I'm getting used to it but to make matter worst, mummy got gestational diabetics because of this pregnancy and I had to limit my food intake so as not to cause any harm to you. But baby, mummy has not been eating well in the first place and now with this, it makes matters worst. I was so upset that why others have such an easy route during their pregnancy but I have to endure rounds of bleeding and puking...

Nearing your EDD, Dr Tham told mummy you were a breech baby. You just refused to turn around. Mummy cannot go for a natural birth. I'm very afraid of pain and I have to go under the knives. Mummy was a little angry with you initially but I know if that's how God wants you to be out or rather, if that's the best way you want to be out, we will do it that way. You were scheduled to be out on 26th December 2013. Another spot on by grandaunt as she prayed about it. =) A xmas baby! Gabriel - an angel, a strong man of God! You shall be one! And to end it off, mummy is tested for Strap B positive too... =(  I had to be on antibiotics so as not to pass the germs to you...

*Frankly son, you have got to be on Daddy's side whenever we talk about Mommy's health issues. Mommy never had the strongest of physique and has various syndromes like IBS etc.. In all brutal honesty, Daddy wasn't totally surprised that Mommy had to go through these minor complications. Even though Daddy didn't want her to experience these unnecessary syndromes, mentally I was kind of prepared. 

Let's cooperate and make Mommy even more healthy ok ?*

Bleeding Again...

Dear Gabby,

Mummy has started feeling your fluttering movements in week 20. It felt like butterflies in my tummy. Week 22, bleeding again. This time round, it was late so we went to a gyane nearby. Now you know it's not easy to have you right? Of course you were safe and sound because of God's protection but every time it happens, mummy will panic. I cannot afford to lose you baby.

Throughout the whole pregnancy, mummy still bled on and off but I've learnt to trust God and that He has everything in control that subsequently, mummy do not worry about it anymore. Have faith! =) Grandaunt said you will look like daddy by the way when you turn 2 years old... Let's see.. That was the vision God showed her. =) Because of that, I also know that you will surely be born...

*You probably have lost count the number of times bleeding and spotting have been mentioned even though its just the 3rd entry. Even Daddy have forgotten about what went on in week 22 spotting situation. Honestly, I was about going numb whenever the S word comes around during these periods. It was like, spotting, bleeding, ok what's new? =/*

The Emergency Visit to Hospital

Dear Gabby,

We went through the OSCAR scan at week 12 and saw that you were all healthy! Before entering the room, daddy and mummy had a phobia because we found out that we had lost a baby during the last OSCAR scan. I was so touched and moved when I saw you!

Look how wonderfully created you were! 

However things were not as smooth as we thought. During week 18, mummy suddenly vomited so hard that I bled a lot! We went to KK immediately and was really scared and worried again. What if we lose our child again? Mummy will go mad! I prayed and prayed telling God to keep you safe! Grand aunt said God has created you and you will be a great servant to Him. So she assured me that nothing bad will happen to you. It's true. Despite the amount of blood that I bled, you were still safe inside me. Mummy had broke a polyp. I did not even know I had a polyp. Perhaps that's the reason why I kept bleeding. But baby, the vomiting still continues... It never ceases... Mummy vomited all the way till you were born for a good 9 months plus. It was really terrible. Every food that goes in comes out... =(

*I have to say that this picture is one that Daddy loves the most. Look at that lovely definition of your spine! It is amazing to even think about how you have evolved from a tiny speck to an organism with a proper bone structure. Life is nothing short of being a miracle. 

With regards to yet again another spotting incident, Daddy remembered that I had to be at a soccer game at Gombak Stadium for an important game. However nothing was more important than you. I recalled that I was bordering on tears while giving my final instructions to the team before telling them I had to go, without giving them the reason. 

Mommy had called shortly after I let her off to Granny place and it is the damned spotting again. By now you should have known that Daddy have no patience for this nonsense and always feel extremely helpless. We went to Thomson first before realizing they are not much of a help and ended up in KK. 

The waiting wasn't so bad but all we cared was whether you are ok. The doctor can't seem to locate your heartbeat and that really REALLY drove me nuts. Thankfully like engaging the car gears, somehow she managed to find the sweet spot and that rhythmic beat of your heart sounded like music to us. You are still alive. It may sound crude and strange to use phrases such as "you are still alive" but it truly and madly is what goes through my mind. Daddy couldn't care less for other things.

The doctor removed some kind alien-like life form blob from Mommy's insides which was probably this [<----------------------------------------------------------------------------------->] long. How could this flesh-like pendulum be existing in Mommy without any discomfort?? But anyway this irritating piece of shit was the apparent culprit of the constant spotting so good riddance! *

Before You Were Born...

Dearest Son,

You were a prayer come true. Before conceiving you on March 2013, mummy and daddy had a loss in November 2012. It was a really very difficult for us and ever since then, we were hoping to have a baby soon. Everyday mummy would pray for God to be merciful and grant us a baby. Our prayers were finally answered in March. To be honest, we have come to a point of being desperate to have a baby and we know that we are going to love you so much, so so much! You were such a miracle baby, a gift from the Lord.

Mummy discovered you in early April and I decided to play a prank with daddy. I left this faint test kit on the table and told daddy to wake up as there is a 'lizard' on the table.

     

Daddy got up grumpy and complained that he did not see any lizards. I had to direct him to this eventually. Daddy is such a piece of wood. Nevertheless he was elated to see this. Something that we always wanted! This was the start of a wonderful journey with you! Every day, I pray for your safety and health. We just want you to be healthy physically, mentally and spiritually.  

*Daddy woke up half asleep and was told to kill off some silly lizard. "WHERE GOT LIZARD?! Oh. Oh my God. Nice lizard" ^_^ *

Overcoming Setbacks

3 December 2013

Dear Son,

Daddy’s Arion team faced off with an old nemesis Police 2 days ago in the 3^rd/4^th placing game in the Challenge Cup. These teams already met during the group stages and we drew each other out in a surprisingly entertaining 0-0 score line. Despite that goal-less draw, Daddy was very happy because Arion had a chance to top the group and avoid the winners of the other group. In the end, the plan was a success but we stumbled during the semi-finals against H2O.

So it was back to facing Police yet again as they too, fell to Young Women. The last time out, we drew each other but this time, there was no more hiding. Victory either belongs to them or us. Despite the game being just a ¾ placing, Daddy was very certain our opponents would want it just as bad as us.

Unfortunately, Arion fell behind due to a poorly cleared corner kick. Set piece defending seems to be one of our most glaring weaknesses, something to be addressed in time to come. We were struggling to keep ourselves afloat, let alone getting into gear with our passing. It was so bad Daddy had to throw in Shiya for Cassie, even though it was her final game. It’s amazing how we even managed to equalize much to the crowd’s delight via Chris’ thumping angular shot. We probably didn’t deserve to go into halftime 1-1 but I guess I won’t complain.

Daddy gave a fiery team talk in a bid to wake up the ideas of the girls. They weren’t doing that badly but certainly not good enough. If we had stayed the same going into the second half, defeat is for certain. I knew they were likely to come out firing in barrels but never would I have planned how the second half panned out.

We fell behind yet again via an uncharacteristic mistake from Lijing. From then on, to be honest, Daddy thought the game was over. Arion had never recovered from being a goal down and won at all, let alone twice. Daddy asked Angie to go one side and gave her a firm piece of my mind before kicking her into the action.

Much to everyone’s delight, all of Daddy’s substitutions worked. Shiya sent in a cross to Angie who pulled the trigger to equalize for us. There was pandemonium in the stands. We were back in the game and against our team’s nature, we actually found a way back from behind twice. To be honest, we were riding on our luck as Police kept coming but we barely managed to repel them sometimes.  There were times whereby Daddy just couldn’t believe the team’s luck. One by one, our players got injured. The stretchers went in twice, and could even be thrice, had Qiuyi remained on the ground. Az had to be carried out due to severe cramps and Chris received a blow to her ankle. It was a big dilemma for Daddy whether to sub Chris out, as by doing so, I will effectively end the hopes of us winning it. It was perhaps a tad too pessimistic on my thinking because for that moment, I lost faith in the rest of the players to win it. I didn’t want to risk Chris’ health as well for the sake of victory. It just wasn’t worth it.

It took Daddy awhile to decide but fortunately, Chris did me a favor. She was ok and didn’t want to give up so she saved me a big decision and trudged back gingerly onto the field.

And then it happened. It had to happen! Despite all our difficulties during the game, we were always still in it even though we were constantly on the slight backfoot. Xiaoxian was brought down by the opposing defender and a penalty was given. 90+2 minutes. When Xiaoxian fell, I thought she blew the chance. The challenge didn’t look too malicious from my angle but you know what, WE.DIDN’T.CARE.

Up stepped Chris, and as usual planted a cool and collected shot with the keeper stranded.

Everyone went wild. Daddy couldn’t believe that it was happening but there was still 2 more minutes to go and survive.

It was unbelievable how aggressive Police attacks were right from the kick off. In that 2 minutes, they’ve had an open shot that went just 2 inches wide, an unnecessary corner conceded by us, and within seconds after the corner, a direct freekick right outside the box directly through the centre. Fortunately we survived. As Mira caught the ball sweetly from the direct freekick, the whistle blew. We had made it to shore. Those 2 minutes felt like 2 minutes under water.

There was euphoria within the Arion camp. Both team A and B celebrated the victory as if we’ve won the championship. Daddy went around giving away hugs and acknowledging the contributions of all the players. These moments of sweet victory belongs to the entire Arion team and us alone. I was very touched by the team’s grit. They never gave up, and with the uncompromising reluctance to accept defeat, we snatched a win right at the death. Daddy was extremely proud of the girls. Such experience can never be bought with any amount of money in this world.

Daddy ended up with a medal, a new coach shirt as well as a very drenched shirt.

So after this long commentary of the game, what has Daddy learned?

1. What hasn’t happened before doesn’t mean it won’t happen in the future, or at all. The team has never, NEVER recovered from a goal down to win a game but on that day, they recovered TWICE. To top it up, the team won.
2. While we were clearly not at our very best, the undying fighting spirit provided enough, or even extra energy in the tank. That difference probably played a major role in securing a big result. So never say die or stop trying when you know you are still in for a shot at success
3. Recovering from set backs is nice but don’t do it too often. Luck will run out at some point in time. Fighting spirit is a major contributor but never a stand-alone decider when it comes to challenges. It is always better to be in control from the word “Go” than to play catch-up.
4. At the end of it all, Daddy received a new coach shirt specially done for me. It was the best form of recognition the team could give me. This shirt was priceless. It was for me and me alone. That kind of appreciation cannot be bought with money. Although it is not always the case, people may remember and show gratitude to us when we give them our time, love and effort. We do it not because we yearn for such appreciation but we do it because we love what we are doing and the people involved in it.
5. Despite ending in third, it was a major victory for everyone. Beating an old nemesis is an achievement but exceeding one’s expectations within meant a lot more. It is more difficult to challenge and end up beating yourself. But when you do, the results can be amazingly beautiful.

 

In time to come, Daddy would like you to meet these gritty ladies who possessed the indomitable spirit. Perhaps they will revisit with you this fateful day in which Arion celebrated their very first major achievement with Daddy.

Love Daddy

Facing Defeats

25 November 2013

Dear Son,

Daddy’s soccer team Arion WFA had just lost in the Challenge Cup last night. We lost to some kind of mashed up team that was conjured up last minute. Sponsored by H2O, you probably can guess their team name. Yeah, H2O Dream Team for crying out loud.

We played really badly in the first half. It was so bad that by the halfway mark, we were 3-0 down. The players virtually wrapped up the goals in glittering paper, bowed down to our opponents and begged them to accept it with a smile. It will take us nothing less than a miracle to recover from that deficit. The team galvanized themselves up and after some tactical changes, they went all out to overturn the messy situation. We did way better than the first half but could not break down a determined and disciplined opponent. Despite that fact that Daddy is a self-confessed sore loser, it was un-denying that Arion lost to a better team.

Some of the girls cried after the game. We still have one more game to go even though it was a little pointless determining who’s going to be third or fourth. Only winners will be remembered and stand in the light, while the rest gets hidden in the shadows. Daddy felt bad for everyone who played their hearts out despite the uncharacteristic drop in performance level. It could have been my fault as well. It was a fact that the team fare much better after the formation switch. What could have been if Daddy had made the decision to use that formation from the word go? Hypothetical questions can never be answered fully and history never condone the presence of hypothetical questions as well. Time cannot be reversed.

Despite the fact that the loss came hard on our faces, Daddy still holds the team in high regard. Arion has been slowly revitalized ever since Daddy took over the reins as coach. In comparison to the past seasons, Arion has been proving doubters wrong during my time. Along the way the team became a tough team to beat. Despite us stumbling occasionally to defeats, we have never laid down depressed for too long. Instead, everyone, or rather, most of the players came back stronger having learned a lesson in one way or another.

In retrospect, swallowing defeats is difficult but at times necessary for a person or a team to grow stronger. Only when we get hammered, we will learn to understand our limitations as well as weaknesses. Identifying these aspects allow us to strengthen and reinforce ourselves to be better prepared for similar challenges. Winning constantly teaches nothing comparing to accepting a defeat.

For Daddy, I am still learning despite being a coach. I’ve learn that different formations suit different pitch sizes. I probably had made the wrong decision to start the game with the diamond formation. I took part of the responsibility for the loss and will be better prepared the next time. In the long term, taking 1 step back after taking 3 steps forward is still good progress. We can only improve.

Arion article: http://voxsports.co/football/h2o-dream-team-prevail-over-arion-fa-to-enter-finals

Love Daddy

The Start Of The Merlion

Dear Gabby,

This is seriously not fun. Feeling nauseous day in and day out is terrible. This part of the pregnancy really puts mummy off but the thought that I'll see you in my arms after 10 months, mummy will endure! After all they said that morning sickness will stop once you hit 12 weeks! =)

We decided to wait till you were week 8 to see Dr Benjamin Tham. However at week 5, mummy accidentally drank some lemon grass and I start to spot. This was really a nightmare! Mummy lost a baby previously and spotting was the first sign. I thought I was going to lose you again! I drank so much water so that I can purge the lemon grass out of my system. I had to pray and get grand aunt to pray fervently! You were strong little buddy! You managed to pull through Gabby dear! And there you go...

You were estimated to be delivered on the 4th January. Mummy hoped for a 1st January baby so I can get all the goodies! Haha. You won't believe how bad I vomited on a daily basis. I can be sleeping in the middle of the night and will suddenly wake up to run to the loo. Everything that I ate will be purged out wholesale. As the weeks progressed, it was so bad that I can to be bed-ridden for a month. I've also taken note of the things that I can or cannot eat so that I can throw up less. I do not have any appetite but for your sake I had to eat and then puke again... The whole cycle continues... Mummy did lost some weight but you were gaining so that's most important. 

I don't know what's wrong with my body but suddenly I began to spot again. We had to make a trip to Dr Tham and mummy was given an injection to stablize you. Was told it was going to be at my bum and will be painful. I had to be really brave! Everyday, mummy and daddy was so worried about your well being. We cant wait to see you and your heartbeats. 

*I have to admit I almost went berserk when I heard about the detrimental effects of lemon grass during pregnancy. I was fuming inside not just with Mommy but also Granny who innocently concocted the drink. However Granny wasn't informed about your existence yet so there wasn't really anyone to be blamed. I can't help but curse under my breath why such ridiculous things keep occuring? Why can't things just be a little bit smoother and that we have less thing to worry about, especially after we lost your older sibling for some reason that we have no idea about.

On a hindsight, although I still think these anxieties can be avoided, I do feel that the experience made us treasure you a truckload more. Daddy always hope the days move faster and look forward to our next gynae session. Just to see your strong little heartbeat and wriggling motion. For expecting parents, there is nothing more important and err.. heartening than seeing your heart beating strong. Perhaps our previous loss left a psychological shadow in Daddy's heart and all Daddy wants to see is your heartbeat before anything else. *

Foreword

14 November 2014

Dear Son,

Throughout my growing up and growing old years, Daddy has a penchant for writing. Although Daddy has never been a brilliant author who can boast the ability to illustrate all things and situations clearly, I do attempt my best to pen down my thoughts. However keeping up consistently in a diary is a challenge for me. There was many a time whereby inspirations and well-thought-out ideas get shelved and eventually forgotten due to Daddy’s procrastination for some reason or another, which I struggle to fathom myself.

Your impending arrival into Daddy and Mommy’s lives will be akin to a Singapore sized meteor crashing onto Earth: Full of impact, fireworks and the possibility of driving us out of existence, but of course in a positive way. We are so looking forward to it.

Daddy hope that your presence in our lives can be a catalyst that drives us (at least for myself) to have the motivation to start writing, and keep on doing it for the sake of preserving some of the knowledge, wisdom, humor and other intriguing stuff that are constantly occurring while you grow old enough to be able to understand the contents of this article, for which I specially dedicate to you and your future siblings.

Daddy have no idea how you will handle or accept my/our way of teaching you in years to come, but I hope in the very least, while you avoid our kind intentions to guide/nag/scold (delete whichever applicable), you may still find some form of peace and assurances from the articles here, slowly pieced up from 2013. As time goes by, the number of articles will increase and Daddy will likely categorize the articles in which you may find whatever you want in double quick time.

Many of the articles Daddy will write may not always be politically correct. It means to say that while most people will agree fully on something, Daddy may be inclined to agree with them but analyzing from another set of reasons and perspective, Daddy may not be on their side wholeheartedly. My guess is that this will happen pretty frequently. Mommy will probably protest on a few things but a man like me wouldn’t be bothered too much unless it is proven that Daddy’s perspective is clearly skewed ha!

For some unknown reason, Daddy felt relieved that I finally lifted my fingers to begin this lifelong assignment for you. Business has been a tad slow recently and Daddy certainly has more time than I would like it to be. So apart from working out in the gym and waiting for Mommy to get released from school/nursery/prison, I thought let’s just get into gear right now, instead of the grand plan of starting this on Daddy’s birthday on the 27^th.

I hope and pray that you will grow up to be a fine young man under Daddy and Mommy’s care and tutelage. We both too, hope and pray that we can fulfill our parental duties and that you can be proud of us, just like how we will be proud of your achievements in future, however small it may be.

Other than the baby items that you receive from us upon your birth (seriously Gabby, do consider 31 Dec 2013 or 1 Jan 2014), this is Daddy’s most sincere present to you. I hope you will find peace, love and wisdom with us.

Love, Daddy Ben